Today, I'll be reviewing a hamburger I had at a place called Barbara's here in Chicago. The hamburger is called "The Delaware Burger."

The minute I walked into Barbara's I knew I would hate everything about it. The people were terrible. All talking to each other and wiping their mouths.

I was seated next to a frumpy couple and I gave them evil eyes when I sat down. I immediately asked to see Barbara because I was very unhappy with my experience thus far. The waiter gave me a confused look and asked 'who is Barbara?' I was so mad that I stormed out of the place and went home. I didn't even pay for the food I didn't order.

I decided to try Barbara's again a few week's later. It turns out, the place isn't really called Barbara's. It's called The Rock Tavern. That was confusing and immediately made me so angry that I had to pull over on the side of the road to vomit.

I arrived at the Rock Tavern and was seated next to a different frumpy couple, this time they weren't talking but staring out the window. This pleased me. Within seconds of sitting down I was given a menu. I was so pissed that I stormed out of the place again. I hate being given a menu within 6 minutes of sitting down. I need time to settle and stare at people.

Week's later, I returned to The Rock Tavern but this time it was called Crimson Valley Crisis. I didn't even wait for a hostess. I just sat down where I wanted, away from everyone else. I sat there and judged everyone and soon discovered that I was far superior to everyone else. This pleased me.

A waiter finally realized I had been sitting there and gave me a menu. I told him to shut up and I refused to look at the menu for 20 minutes. Once the 20 minutes were up, I left.

On the way home I picked up a basket that was big enough to store more baskets. I also ate a hamburger and it was good.

-Berry Preckwinks is the senior hamburger reviewer for the Cell Camp blog

Things That Bother Me by Kate

My parents are cleaning out the basement right now and my mom found a lot of my old notebooks. This was an entry from my fourth grade notebook when Mrs. Posner gave us an assignment to write about what bothers us. Spelling and grammar errors are kept from the original.

Things that bother Me:

Something that bothers me is I don't think I'm going to get a good grade. that makes me feel like I'm not going to go to the next grade. Like subjects such as Math, L.A., and Social Studies, like when I got my 69%. And most of my best friends are in the other class. I have almost everthing I wanted this class to be.

What I don't like when Mrs. Posner gives us a mad minute if you get one wrong all the ones before it are wrong to. How could that be? And in Science, Erika Leigh and me were partners and we all had to do the same plant and we had lots of lovely choices. I wanted to do a blue plant and they voted for a red flower and i didn't want to do that and Ms. Chewning said I had to. I wasn't so tickeled pink about that either.

In New York, a 15-year old girl has fallen into a manhole while she was texting on her phone. Her parents are suing the city. Her name is Alexa. In response to the workmen’s apology after they helped her out of the hole, she said “They were just, like, ‘I’m sorry! I’m sorry!’”

"Like, Help!", a sketch that premiered in Cell Camp's "Social Graceless" in April 2009, tells the tale of a teenage idiot girl (Charlisa) who falls into a manhole while yapping with her friend Sreena. Sreena attempts to get help from a passerby, who finds it difficult to understand her stupid teen language that always includes the words "like", "know what I mean?" and "I'm freaking out." Charlisa complains at one point that she's "like, totally suing the city!”

We are watching the headlines for the first automated drive thru.

Read the full story here. Be sure to read some of the comments. Some of our favorites include:

"Too bad she didn’t break her neck, that would be one less idiot breeding more idiots."

"Err the workers were in the process of setting up cones when she stupidly walked into the hole. Sure, they should have put up a barrier/cones first, but you know…maybe they thought the world wasn’t full of idiots that can’t go 5 minutes without telling their friends what they just ate.

Secondly, what are they suing to get? A new shoe? It said she suffered a few scrapes. Give her $50 for some neosporin, bandaids and a new pair of shoes and send her on her way."